Not appreciated

What should I do, Lord?! I'm really tired of all these negative remarks & I felt so tired working. I even sacrificed my break time to do e work & I'm being said that I'm slow. I can't even stay back to do my work. I used to stay back but not now as I've to study. Sometimes I don't feel appreciated. I've a poor memory. I tend to forget stuff but I still finish my work. What more, y don't u tell me personally? Do u have to pass e msg through someone? I really felt like giving up. There is this negative thought that keep bugging me. I'm so scared, Lord! Pls walk w me wherever I go. Thank God, for no reason they didn't give me any nap duties. But still how to get my work done in 2 hrs when there is so many of them? That includes my break time. Main teachers get to go for break & yet able to sit & chit-chat while doing their work. I'm always e anti-social bcos of e amount of work I've to rush out. Sick of this. If I really want, I'll really break e bond & find other job to do. Well w all these, what can I do? Just leave everything to God. Only He knows everything. He is my avenger.

God is great!

These two day was great. Having half day leave really help relax myself after that incident. God is great! Well, spending time with God was worth it and He sure gives us situation whereby we will grow spiritually. I'm still having problem with her but at least I'm putting everything to God and trying my best to ignore the frustration. It's really stressful when you have to go through all these when exam is on next Monday! I've been procrastinating! I need to start studying the format after my presentation tomorrow. Ok! Ciaos!

God spoke

Today I talked to God, I asked God to come and fill me. I told Him that I felt empty and that the feeling was scary. I was so desperate for His presence and then suddenly a vision came into mind. I don't know what does it mean and I'm not sure whether was it from God. But I don't want to doubt, because if it's real, I will be doubting God. He showed me an umbrella descending from above. It was a short and simple one and it just ends like this. I don't understand what does it mean. So I asked God to tell me if it's really from Him, if it's not let me forget about it. It was great to spend time with God. In the morning, Pastor Eugene Tan opened up the altar for those who need faith in our storm. I responded and God gave me Psalm 91 through the ministry personnel. I really felt that God is there for me and Mark 4:35-41 spoke to me many times. Currently David club's curriculum is teaching these verses to the children and Pastor preached about these verses too. Previously it was also my devotion for last month. God talked to me a lot today, in fact I felt that I've opened up to Him much more today. I have been planning of praying at my centre before starting my work and have not started it due to laziness. Oops! But today the ministry personnel said to pray before I start my work everyday and things will change. I have not been praying for lots of things recently. I have been lazing around for too long. Well, got to be obedient and be an extreme disciple of God!

In agony

What do you want from me?! I really hate to work with you. Why are you making everything so difficult? You are stressed up? Then I'm not stress ah? I'm a human too for goodness sake! Everyone has stress, it just depends on how you handle it please! What more I have a Dip course and I'm studying for O level English. This kind of thing you also can complain to the supervisor. Really speechless. What's wrong with you? I already told you that we have spelling to send out and then think about the boy's costume right? It's not like I have nothing to do you know?! What more I even sacrificed my break to do work, HELLO!! Sacrificed my break means 2 hours to do work also not enough, DO YOU KNOW THAT?!?! The planet does not rotate for you only! What more it's not related to me eh.

Ok God is with me. When I was contemplating whether to tell my parents and let them know what I'm going through. I asked the LORD. Immediately He sent my daddy back and I let him know. God has been wanting me to tell others about my problems. But the problem with me is that I find it difficult to tell others. I don't know how to tell others too. Sometimes I'm really scared that I may go into depression because of all this. I felt bad that I cried like nobody business and my parents felt the agony I have and was very worried and sad about it. Let me end here so that I can go and talk to God.