Numb

Why does human have to be so harsh to one another? Why can't people be more willing to understand others? Why do some have to be so direct in their words to hurt others. Why they only think about that is their personality but never thought what would have cause the person to feel? Once you have authority, you can do what you want? Is that how you role model to the next generation? Why do we have to live like this? Why are we thinking more of ourselves than God? Why can't I humble myself before the Lord? Do it for the Lord to see and not others.

God! I need Your help. I have already grew numb, I have already built up walls in my heart to fend out people from my life. I have been so scared to allow others to come into my life that once I felt that I am a bit close to one person, I start to back off. Why am I doing this to myself? Why do I have to torture myself? Why do I simply like to be alone and not be near anyone? Why do I enjoy being alone but fear of loneliness? I know it is wrong to think and act like that. The worse thing is that I do not even feel the pain, do not have any feelings. Lord, only in you I can find true meaning of life. I'm desperate for You, Lord. I'm sorry Lord, but sometimes I really wish I could get to see You soon. But I do not want to leave this world without doing something for You. I wish I could find my 12 and they will be able to find their 12.

Lord, help me to have compassion for Your people and not think of myself. Help me to love & serve You wholeheartedly. Help me to love others even though they have hurt me. Soften my heart and make it pure. Help me to grow up each day to be more like You, Lord!